# Learning How and What to Memorize: Cognition-Inspired Two-Stage Optimization for Evolving Memory

arXiv: https://arxiv.org/abs/2605.00702 · HTML: https://mlsanity.com/paper/2605.00702/

## Key facts

- Cited by 2 papers in the map (data through 14 Oct 2026).
- Builds on 37 of its 59 references that are in the map.
- First posted on arXiv 1 May 2026.

## Builds on (most cited first, 30 of 37)

- [MiniLM: Deep Self-Attention Distillation for Task-Agnostic Compression of Pre-Trained Transformers](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2002.10957/) (2020)
- [MemGPT: Towards LLMs as Operating Systems](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2310.08560/) (2023)
- [A-MEM: Agentic Memory for LLM Agents](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2502.12110/) (2025)
- [ExpeL: LLM Agents Are Experiential Learners](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2308.10144/) (2023)
- [Automatic Prompt Optimization with "Gradient Descent" and Beam Search](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2305.03495/) (2023)
- [A Survey on the Memory Mechanism of Large Language Model based Agents](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2404.13501/) (2024)
- [RAPTOR: Recursive Abstractive Processing for Tree-Organized Retrieval](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2401.18059/) (2024)
- [Zep: A Temporal Knowledge Graph Architecture for Agent Memory](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2501.13956/) (2025)
- [Memory in the Age of AI Agents](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2512.13564/) (2025)
- [RECOMP: Improving Retrieval-Augmented LMs with Compression and Selective Augmentation](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2310.04408/) (2023)
- [MEM1: Learning to Synergize Memory and Reasoning for Efficient Long-Horizon Agents](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2506.15841/) (2025)
- [LightMem: Lightweight and Efficient Memory-Augmented Generation](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2510.18866/) (2025)
- [Know Me, Respond to Me: Benchmarking LLMs for Dynamic User Profiling and Personalized Responses at Scale](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2504.14225/) (2025)
- [MIRIX: Multi-Agent Memory System for LLM-Based Agents](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2507.07957/) (2025)
- [Do LLMs Recognize Your Preferences? Evaluating Personalized Preference Following in LLMs](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2502.09597/) (2025)
- [A Human-Inspired Reading Agent with Gist Memory of Very Long Contexts](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2402.09727/) (2024)
- [From Human Memory to AI Memory: A Survey on Memory Mechanisms in the Era of LLMs](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2504.15965/) (2025)
- [Hello Again! LLM-powered Personalized Agent for Long-term Dialogue](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2406.05925/) (2024)
- [MemoRAG: Boosting Long Context Processing with Global Memory-Enhanced Retrieval Augmentation](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2409.05591/) (2024)
- [MemGen: Weaving Generative Latent Memory for Self-Evolving Agents](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2509.24704/) (2025)
- [On Memory Construction and Retrieval for Personalized Conversational Agents](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2502.05589/) (2025)
- [MemoChat: Tuning LLMs to Use Memos for Consistent Long-Range Open-Domain Conversation](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2308.08239/) (2023)
- [Long-Context Language Modeling with Parallel Context Encoding](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2402.16617/) (2024)
- [From Isolated Conversations to Hierarchical Schemas: Dynamic Tree Memory Representation for LLMs](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2410.14052/) (2024)
- [Memory as Action: Autonomous Context Curation for Long-Horizon Agentic Tasks](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2510.12635/) (2025)
- [Offline Training of Language Model Agents with Functions as Learnable Weights](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2402.11359/) (2024)
- [NoteLLM-2: Multimodal Large Representation Models for Recommendation](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2405.16789/) (2024)
- [LLM4Rerank: LLM-based Auto-Reranking Framework for Recommendations](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2406.12433/) (2024)
- [Compress to Impress: Unleashing the Potential of Compressive Memory in Real-World Long-Term Conversations](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2402.11975/) (2024)
- [Unleashing the Potential of Large Language Models as Prompt Optimizers: Analogical Analysis with Gradient-based Model Optimizers](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2402.17564/) (2024)

## Built on by (most cited first, 2 of 2)

- [Learning What to Share and What to Personalize: Hierarchical Strategy Co-Evolution for Agent Memory](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2608.25329/) (2026)
- [Disentangling Long-Term Memory via Latent Neuro-Symbolic Reasoning](https://mlsanity.com/paper/2609.18461/) (2026)

## Abstract (arXiv)

Large language model (LLM) agents require long-term user memory for consistent personalization, but limited context windows hinder tracking evolving preferences over long interactions. Existing memory systems mainly rely on static, hand-crafted update rules; although reinforcement learning (RL)-based agents learn memory updates, sparse outcome rewards provide weak supervision, resulting in unstable long-horizon optimization. Drawing on memory schema theory and the functional division between prefrontal regions and hippocampus regions, we introduce MemCoE, a cognition-inspired two-stage optimization framework that learns how memory should be organized and what information to update. In the first stage, we propose Memory Guideline Induction to optimize a global guideline via contrastive feedback interpreted as textual gradients; in the second stage, Guideline-Aligned Memory Policy Optimization uses the induced guideline to define structured process rewards and performs multi-turn RL to learn a guideline-following memory evolution policy. We evaluate on three personalization memory benchmarks, covering explicit/implicit preference and different sizes and noise, and observe consistent improvements over strong baselines with favorable robustness, transferability, and efficiency.